- Live with a posture of praise. “Tebowing” now appears in newspapers, on t-shirts, and—most recently—as the closing pose for sportscasters after the Steelers-Broncos game. Whatever you call it, we see Tim giving praise to his Savior every chance he gets by public prayer and praise and by his first comments in interviews. His default posture in all circumstances is to give glory to God.
- Our accomplishments do not define us. Tebow has been quoted as saying, “Football does not define me.” In a day when the world tells us that our worth depends on how much money we make, the kind of job we have, or how many people know our name, it is refreshing to see someone “famous” who knows where his real worth lies. What a great opportunity to examine the source of our own worth and to make sure our kids are grounded about theirs.
- Being a Christian does not mean you win every game. Watching some miracle-finishes to games this season has been great fun. God has “shown up” and rewarded Tebow’s obedience with some awesome, odds-defying victories. The general public may be tempted to say that the losses reflect an inconsistent God. As Christians we know better. The Christian life is like any other life in a broken world. It is full of ups and downs. The difference is that we walk them with a Savior who knows our struggles firsthand and who can bring good from all circumstances.
- Work hard all the time. Tebow’s work ethic is no secret. Supposedly, he sprints from station to station in practices, while the “norm” is to walk leisurely. In his noteworthy speech following a Florida loss to Ole Miss in 2008, Tim tearfully and humbly declared, “…I promise you one thing. A lot of good will come out of this. You will never see any player in the entire country play as hard as I will play the rest of the season. You will never see someone push the rest of the team as hard as I will push everybody the rest of the season. You will never see another team play as hard as we will play the rest of the season.” Despite the loss, Tebow’s Gators went on to win the national title that year. Hard work pays off. “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men” (Colossians 3:23, NIV’84).
- It doesn’t matter what the world thinks of you. People either love Tebow or hate him. Neither matters to him. The only approval he seeks or cares about is that of the Lord. He repeatedly tells the media that he does not pay attention to his critics. Much of the criticism surrounds his public displays of his faith, but as Jesus said, “Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of things against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you” (Matthew 5:11-12, NIV’84).
- Public notoriety brings great responsibility. In a time when athletes sign multimillion-dollar contracts and splurge on extravagant cars and houses and flamboyant lifestyles, it is refreshing to show our sons and daughters an athlete who spends his free time in orphanages and prisons and uses his wealth to build a children’s hospital for children in the Philippines. Tebow constantly acknowledges his position as a role model for young people. As Jesus stated in Luke 12:48, “From everyone who has been given much, much more will be demanded; and from the one who has been entrusted with much, much more will be asked” (NIV’84).
- A true hero knows he isn’t worthy of being a hero. None of these observations are intended to elevate Tim Tebow. He is a sinner and would be the first to tell you so. He needs a Savior just like you and I do. He has, however, been provided a unique platform. So far, he has used it well, and we can be grateful to learn from it. Jesus Christ is the only person worth emulating, but our kids like to have “heroes” to look up to. The Bible is full of them, but it is a blessing to have a “real, live” example who actually recognizes the responsibility of that position.
Overwhelmed by “Expert Advice”
This post is part of a series by Melissa Barnes titled, “Sitting at My Savior’s Feet…A Short Devotional for Homeschool Moms.”
I nursed all my children, so when we adopted our son, I decided I wanted to attempt to breastfeed him. I knew it would be a challenge, but it sounded easier than learning to bottle feed and paying for formula. I entered the NICU where he was born, armed with my trusty nursing pillow and eleven cumulative years of nursing experience.
About five hours later I sneaked out of the hospital, ran for the car, and vowed not to attempt breastfeeding my new baby until we were in the privacy of our home…all because of “expert advice.”
Had we been left to our own devices, I suspect my son and I would have done just fine. Instead, we had a lactation consultant, a feeding specialist, and a NICU nurse all intently watching as we fumbled our way through the first feeding. These people had the best of intentions and do a great service through their work, but I left that short session with more suggestions than I could process, feeling overwhelmed, confused, and inadequate.
I think my nursing experience is replicated far too often in the homeschooling community. Parents come to homeschooling from a variety of paths, but most begin with a degree of trepidation and uncertainty.
Can I really teach my own children?
What if I mess up?
I’ll never be able to homeschool as well as…
We begin our journey, experience a little success, gain some confidence, and then—Wham! Something occurs to make us question ourselves all over again.
Much like my experience with my baby, it is often good things that cause our confidence to falter. Perhaps we read a book or attend a seminar or talk to a homeschool veteran. We get great tips, learn new methods, or hear encouraging success stories. But instead of inspiring us, they make us question our abilities or our outcomes. They leave us feeling inadequate or unequipped. We lose confidence in ourselves.
We become overwhelmed by “expert advice.”
In reality, we have forgotten our calling. We don’t homeschool because of any credentials we have earned from outside sources. Our qualifications do not come from the state or the local homeschool organization or the neighbor down the street. We aren’t successful because of any books we have read or workshops we have attended. We don’t teach because we have found the perfect curriculum or enrolled in the ultimate co-op.
Those of us who homeschool do it because God has called us to teach our children. He placed the desire in our hearts (Ephesians 4:1), gave us a scriptural mandate to teach our children (Deuteronomy 4:9, 6:6-9), and equipped us for the task (Ephesians 2:10, 2 Timothy 3:17). We don’t need our work validated by any “homeschool experts.”
Seeking wise counsel from those who are more experienced, reading a book on an area of weakness, attending a workshop for ideas and refreshment…these are all positive and helpful things for any homeschooler. But the minute you begin to feel that your homeschooling is under a microscope, that you are inadequate, or that you should not trust your own instincts about what is best for your children, PAUSE. Put the books and curriculum catalogs away. Turn off the podcasts, and stop answering the phone. Go to the throne of the One who created you and placed His children in your care. Ask Him to remind you of your calling and of His equipping, and bask in the reality that His is the only expert advice you will ever need to take.
In what ways have you allowed the “experts” to rob you of your calling to homeschool? How often do you look to outside sources for advice or validation rather than to the LORD? What steps can you take this week to direct your focus back to His word to equip you for the task of teaching your children?
mbarnes @ February 1, 2012 | Homeschool Encouragement | Comments (2)
But You Didn’t Ask…
This post is part of a series by Melissa Barnes titled, “Sitting at My Savior’s Feet…A Short Devotional for Homeschool Moms.”
I love the part in It’s a Wonderful Life when people all over town are praying for George Bailey. You can hear their prayers lifted up to God in unison, and it sounds like a beautiful chorus.
A lot of amazing people have prayed for my family recently as we have journeyed through an adoption. On one such day when we were waiting for an important, time-critical clearance that just wasn’t coming, I had a shocking realization. I had verbally requested, texted, and posted on Facebook to numerous people asking for prayers over this situation but had not spoken one word of petition myself. I was so horrified that I had to stop driving and repent immediately.
I wish I could say this was the first time I have done this, but it isn’t.
The day that this occurred, I wondered how God viewed my oversight. I wondered how significant my own prayer really was. How do others’ intercessory prayers intermingle with our own personal petitions?
God brought to mind the familiar verses of Matthew 7:7-8: “Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened” (NIV’84).
I wonder if our personal petitions are the keys that unlock all of the other prayers lifted on our behalf? While, I have no theological backing to this idea, I found it highly motivating to me as a praying person. I know God wants me to present the desires of my heart to Him, but all too often, I rely on others to do that for me. This is symptomatic of a larger problem—that of looking to man before God.
When something big happens in my life—good or bad—I often pick up the phone. I may call my husband or text a friend. I may update my status on Facebook or send a quick email to someone. But God is always present, always available, and always interested in what I have to tell him—AND in what I want to ask. He should be the first person I go to with big news or with a need.
James 4:2 tells us, “You want something but don’t get it. You kill and covet, but you cannot have what you want. You quarrel and fight. You do not have, because you do not ask God” (NIV’84).
I wonder how many times God has withheld blessings and answers because I failed to turn to Him first or to turn to Him on my own behalf. Thankfully, He is a God of grace and undeserved mercy, and He has chosen to bless His people despite themselves.
I appreciate all of the prayers that friends and strangers have offered to the LORD on my behalf. I have felt the power of prayer in mighty ways over the preceding weeks. Theologically sound or not, I now see my own prayers as critical to “turning up the volume” on the chorus of prayers others lift up for me. I desire for God to be the first person I “call” with big news or needs.
He promises to respond: “Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know” (Jeremiah 33:3, NIV’84).
Who do you call first with the problems and news of your life? Do you intercede on your own behalf? This week, how can you draw closer to the One who truly meets your needs?
mbarnes @ January 25, 2012 | Homeschool Encouragement | Comments (0)
What Do You Mean…Normal?
This post is part of a series by Melissa Barnes titled, “Sitting at My Savior’s Feet…A Short Devotional for Homeschool Moms.”
Our family adopted a baby boy last week. We met him and held him, and now we are anxiously waiting for his arrival in Virginia. During one of my “nesting” errands this week, I saw an acquaintance I don’t see very often. She had heard the news from a mutual friend and was eager for details. I proudly told her about our sweet baby and how excited we are to bring him home. She listened and smiled and seemed happy for us. Then she paused, looked at me somewhat seriously, and asked, “Is he…normal?”
Naively, I questioned, “What do you mean?”
Before she could even answer, I swallowed hard and knew exactly what she was going to say.
“Well, you know. Is he special needs?”
Numerous responses raced through my mind. Things like “No, he’s a baby” and “How would you define normal?” I restrained myself, though, and answered her question matter-of-factly, explaining his needs in rather general terms and redirecting the conversation.
Later, I reflected on it and realized that it has been quite awhile since I have encountered questions like that. I am blessed by a church, a homeschool co-op, and a circle of friends that know that people with special needs ARE “normal”—at least as normal as the rest of us.
I mean, what is normal? Is it a standard of some kind? Is it a minimum? Is it a statistical majority?
What makes one person normal and another not? Is my daughter who is left-handed not normal because she is a statistical minority? Was my grandpa not normal because he required a wheelchair to get around? Am I not normal because I like to wear shoes all day long while my family goes barefoot?
I know being “normal” isn’t a biblical measure. I did a keyword search of the NIV on Bible Gateway and the word “normal” did not appear one time in the entire Bible. The closest thing I found was the use of the word “normally” in 2 Kings 11:7. So, maybe to God there is no need for such a label? If He doesn’t need it, do we?
Let me clarify that I feel no resentment toward this acquaintance even though her questions struck a nerve. Before my youngest daughter was born with Down syndrome a little over three years ago, I may have said the same thing.
No more.
I have learned many, many things from my daughter, but one of the most important is the limitations of labels. Soon after her birth, I was privileged to read an article by Kathie Snow about “People First” language. In it she makes a compelling case for thinking carefully about how we label and identify one another. Rather than saying my daughter is a “Down syndrome child,” which I often hear, Ms. Snow (and now I) would advocate calling her “a child with Down syndrome.” Because, after all, isn’t she a child first? The Down syndrome is just a small part of who she is. There is so much more.
While not intended to be a biblical concept, I think it very much is. Thankfully, God does not label his people. He made us in His image (Genesis 1:27), He sent His Son to save all of us (John 3:16), and He values each and every one of us as if there were only one of us (Matthew 10:29-31). Shouldn’t we use “God’s people first” language to speak of—and even think of—each other? Shouldn’t we see and value one another with His eyes?
Children ARE not “special needs”; some of them just HAVE special needs. The difference one word makes is tremendous. We are not defined by our attributes, whether they are amazing talents or medical diagnoses. We are defined by the One who created us. While I waited for my daughter to be born, I knew that she may have an extra chromosome. That worried me greatly…for about a week. Then God blessed me by telling me unmistakably that He created her, whether the extra chromosome was there or not, and that to Him she was perfectly formed for His purpose and glory. “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place. When I was woven together in the depths. Of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body” (Psalm 139:14-16a, NIV’84).
If the idea of “People First Language” or doing away with words like “normal” are new concepts to you, don’t feel bad. They were to me just a few years ago. But once you become aware of the importance of labels and how they affect our beliefs about people, it can radically shift what you say, as well as what you believe. Labels don’t define us even when people use them. The people who use them don’t typically mean any ill will. But, subtly, they do affect how we view one another, what we expect of one another, and how we interact with one another. This is not God’s intention for us. We are all His creation, and we all have the potential to glorify His name. In His kingdom, we are all “normal”—whatever that is.
If you would like to read more about “People First Language” this week, please check out Kathie Snow’s article or at least scroll to the bottom of it for a great list of examples. You can find it at:
http://xa.yimg.com/kq/groups/314043/1474836185/name/People%20First%20Language%2Epdf
mbarnes @ January 19, 2012 | Homeschool Encouragement | Comments (0)
Pigskin Lessons
Why would a homeschool mom write a devotional about football? Because God has been saying a lot through football lately, and I am trying to listen! My career as a Tim Tebow fan goes back about seven years to Jacksonville, Florida, where my homeschooling journey began. Pam Tebow spoke at the first homeschool convention I ever attended. She was preparing to homeschool Tim in his final year of high school during the summer that I took the plunge into the world of homeschooling. Today I find myself benefitting from the fruit of her labor as I learn lessons from her son.
In a day when society offers our children empty, shallow, media-driven role models, it warms a mother’s heart to see a football player that her son can look to as an example of biblical young manhood. All the debate about whether Tebow can throw or how long he will last in the NFL means nothing to me. It isn’t the wins or the losses or the last-minute miracles—and I do think some of them are miracles! Instead, it is the testimony of a life of obedience. No doubt critics are looking for the flaws or the big fall, but any honest Christian will tell you there is no need to look hard. We all have them, and Tebow is no different. What has been beautiful to witness this season is how God honors someone who follows Him wholeheartedly
It is a rare opportunity to have a public figure who appeals to our kids AND has qualities we actually want our kids to emulate. So, what lessons can we point out to our children this week while Tebow is so heavily in the public eye?
Whether you are a true football fan or a curious onlooker, Tebow’s season—and the upcoming playoff games—offer a great opportunity to show our sons and daughters what a life sold-out to God can look like. It isn’t easy, you don’t always win, and it doesn’t mean people will like you. But if you focus on your Savior, praise Him in all circumstances, work as though for Him, and live a life worthy of the calling to which you have received, God will honor that—even on the football field.
mbarnes @ January 12, 2012 | Homeschool Encouragement | Comments (0)
Brick by Brick, Gate by Gate
This post is part of a series by Melissa Barnes titled, “Sitting at My Savior’s Feet…A Short Devotional for Homeschool Moms.”
Sometimes I walk into a room in our house with the intention of getting it “in order.” I enter the room full of energy and enthusiasm for the task, ready to conquer the mess and restore order to my chaotic home. As my eyes scan the room in search of a starting point, however, discouragement quickly sets in.
Mini-mountains of books have no home. Boxes of last year’s schoolwork await filing. Tiny scraps of a young child’s paper project litter the floor like confetti. Random toys and game pieces, overlooked during clean-up time, lay abandoned on the floor. Nothing looks quick or easy.
I’m sorry to confess that this is not an uncommon occurrence in my home. The tasks vary. Sometimes it’s the dreaded change of seasons in which my husband brings the kids’ clothes boxes down from the attic for the semiannual “sorting of closets.” Other times school work piles up on me, and I face a mountain of papers to grade. Often it is laundry that multiplies to cover every empty surface in my bedroom.
Usually these tasks pile up as a result of neglect, an unexpected interruption such as a sickness or surgery, or a season of busyness that causes a traffic jam of sorts.
Sometimes we experience a similar sense of despair as we face the ruins of a damaged relationship, a spiritual drought, or even a family culture that does not reflect Christ. We “wake up” and recognize the problem, but we don’t begin to know where to start to “fix it.”
In such times the Old Testament prophet Nehemiah offers great wisdom and a plan of attack.
When Nehemiah inquired about the condition of Jerusalem and the Jewish remnant who had survived the exile, he was overwhelmed. The people were in “great trouble and disgrace,” the wall was “broken down,” and the gates had been “burned with fire” (Nehemiah 1:3, NIV’84).
His response?
“When I heard these things, I sat down and wept. For some days I mourned and fasted and prayed before the God of heaven” (Nehemiah 1:4, NIV’84). Then he prayed a beautiful prayer acknowledging his own shortcomings and those of his people. He called on the God he knew would keep his covenant if only they would return to Him. Nehemiah then went to the king and asked to be sent to rebuild the city.
Can you imagine how overwhelmed he must have felt when he arrived and saw for himself the desolation of the home of his ancestors? My messy rooms and mountains of laundry seem insignificant in comparison, but damaged relationships, spiritual deserts, and broken families do not.
When faced with such seemingly impossible rebuilding tasks, we can follow Nehemiah’s lead. We can return to our God with humble repentance and begin to attack the problem we face brick-by-brick and gate-by-gate.
The rebuilding of the wall was not an overnight project for Nehemiah. He had groups of people working on individual sections of the gate, tackling the project section-by-section. He faced opposition and ridicule, but persisted. Despite working with “all their hearts,” his laborers grew weary (Nehemiah 4:6-10, NIV’84). Still they pressed on until the task was complete.
Whatever area of your life appears to be in total ruin, don’t give in to the despair you may feel when you survey the damage. Pause, turn back to God, seek Him earnestly through prayer, and set to work rebuilding one gate at a time, taking to heart the encouragement Nehemiah offered his workers, “Remember the Lord, who is great and awesome, and fight for your families, your sons and your daughters, your wives and your homes” (Nehemiah 4:14b, NIV’84).
Do you or someone you know face a “ruined” relationship or family culture? Have you suffered a recent drought in your walk with the LORD? If so, step back and survey the damage, seek the LORD with all your heart, and begin to rebuild…one day, one conversation, one prayer at a time.
mbarnes @ December 14, 2011 | Homeschool Encouragement | Comments (1)
Times Tables and Timetables
This post is part of a series by Melissa Barnes titled, “Sitting at My Savior’s Feet…A Short Devotional for Homeschool Moms.”
My daughter turned three this week. By all worldly standards she is grossly behind in every way…from her height and weight to her speech and language to her fine motor skills. She has developmental delays in every area. But over the past year, she has acquired more than one hundred signs, learned more than one hundred words, gotten used to wearing glasses, learned to run, begun to feed herself, and gained numerous other skills she didn’t have last fall. So is she a success or a failure? Who decides?
Once, a good friend gently pointed out to me that my third grade son didn’t know his math facts. This was no surprise to me as learning them was not so high on my son’s to-do list, and our curriculum didn’t really drill math facts. I shrugged off the comment but later reflected on the timetables that homeschool parents often impose on themselves and each other…reading independently by the end of the first grade (one of my daughters was in second), mastery of the times tables by the end of third grade (one daughter was in fifth), potty training by age two (my kids were all three). Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we do it to our kids?
There’s a song I love on one of my newly three-year-old daughter’s Signing Time DVDs. One of the verses says:
Sometimes I see you stuck
For such a long time.
A daily nothing new
Pretend I don’t mind
With lists of things you’ll never do
Until somehow you do
And you do—you do—you shine.
The song goes on to say:
And Sammy will do what Sammy will do when Sammy is ready to do it.
And Trevor will do what Trevor will do when Trevor is ready to do it.
And Lucy will do what Lucy will do when Lucy is ready to do it.
And they’ll do…it in their own time.
(From “Shine.” Written by Rachel Coleman. Signing Time Music, www.signingtime.com.)
We do ourselves, our children, and each other a great disservice when we impose man-made timetables on one another. In 1 Corinthians 4:6-7, Paul writes, “’Do not go beyond what is written.’ Then you will not take pride in one man over another. For who makes you different from anyone else? What do you have that you did not receive? And if you did receive it, why do you boast as though you did not?” (NIV’84). All is grace. Whether we are ahead of or “behind” somebody’s external timetable is irrelevant. Even the things we work to achieve are achieved because God allows them to be.
Aren’t you grateful God has no timetable for our sanctification process? That He is patient and persistent with our growth? That He believes in us and by Christ’s blood sees us as He intends us to be rather than as we are? That to Him we SHINE. Not that He doesn’t push and challenge and stretch us. Not that He doesn’t care when we fail. He does. But He surely doesn’t compare us to each other or to some heavenly developmental chart.
In Matthew 20:1-16, Jesus tells the Parable of the Workers in the Vineyard. In it a landowner hires men early in the morning to work for him for a set amount of money. Throughout the day he finds more men without work and sends them into the vineyard to work for him as well. That evening the landowner calls the workers in and pays them, beginning with the last one hired and ending with the first. Those who were hired first began to grumble because they were paid the exact same amount as those hired last, despite working many more hours. The landowner says to them, “Friend, I am not being unfair to you. Didn’t you agree to work for a denarius? Take your pay and go. I want to give the man who was hired last the same pay as I gave you. Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?” (Matthew 20:13-15 NIV’84). Jesus ends His story saying, “So the last will be first, and the first will be last” (Matthew 20:16 NIV’84).
Let’s do ourselves a favor and throw away the timetables. Sure we need to monitor our kids’ progress and get them help when they show true signs of delay. We must ensure they make adequate progress each year and that we meet state homeschooling requirements. But we also need to do away with the judgment and guilt that come from these outside standards. We should trust ourselves and value our children as the unique individuals God created them to be. We need to let our kids SHINE…in their own time.
How can you seek this week to see your children as Christ sees them rather than comparing them to other people’s standards? How can you encourage a friend to do the same? How can you resist comparing yourselves to others around you and be grateful for the work God is doing in your life—in His own time?
mbarnes @ December 7, 2011 | Homeschool Encouragement | Comments (2)
Rainbow Vision
This post is part of a series by Melissa Barnes titled, “Sitting at My Savior’s Feet…A Short Devotional for Homeschool Moms.”
Almost thirteen years ago, my husband’s aunt lost her battle with lung cancer. She died in a fourth-floor hospital room. Two floors above in the same hospital at the exact moment of her death, her daughter-in-law was in labor giving birth to her first granddaughter. The baby was born a couple of hours after her grandmother passed away.
Rarely in our human lives do we witness such an intersection of joy and grief. Life is full of these moments, but they seldom overlap in such a vivid way.
Last week a sister-in-Christ at my church celebrated the first birthday of her twin boys, one of whom opened gifts and ate cake in her home while the other celebrated with Jesus in heaven. I would never pretend to know what that day felt like for my friend. As I prayed for her that day, however, I thought of those surreal moments when we look outside our window and see rain pouring down while the sun shines brightly. Such a contradiction!
Or is it?
When we witness those “rain while the sun shines” moments, the first thing most of us do is look for the rainbow. Rainbows usually surprise us, but on those rare days, we anticipate them and search the rain-drenched, sunny sky for that beautiful miracle. We expect them because we understand our Creator, we claim His promise, and we comprehend what is necessary to create a rainbow.
This is no accident. Romans 1:20 tells us that “since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that men are without excuse” (NIV’84). God reveals Himself to us through His creation.
Those unique moments when we witness the blending of joy and tragedy or rain and sunshine give us a brief but powerful glimpse into the view God has all the time. One of the great mysteries of the nature of our Creator is that He transcends time. First Peter 3:8 tells us that “with the Lord a day is like a thousand years, and a thousand years are like a day” (NIV’84). When He looks down on our lives, He sees it all. We live in the moment, but God’s perspective is eternal. He doesn’t just see the rain or the sunshine in isolation; he sees them intermingled with the rainbow they produce.
Occasionally, God allows us to see with His rainbow vision. When that occurs, we can peer eagerly into the sky for a glimpse of the rainbow we have grown to expect when rain and sun intersect. The rest of the time, He calls us to trust that even if we can only see the rain for now, the rainbow will come in His perfect time.
Ask God to help you trust Him through the joy and grief in your life. Thank Him when He blesses you with the revelation of His character through nature and through everyday life. Praise Him for His faithfulness in all circumstances.
mbarnes @ November 29, 2011 | Homeschool Encouragement | Comments (0)
Thankful for Disappointment
This post is part of a series by Melissa Barnes titled, “Sitting at My Savior’s Feet…A Short Devotional for Homeschool Moms.”
Do your kids ever disappoint you? Not just a little bit like an unmade bed or a forgotten jacket or even an undeserved push to a younger sibling. I mean really disappoint you…maybe even embarrass you? Recently I was humbled to share moments with two fellow homeschool moms whose kids let them down in pretty big ways. Both were meek and honest. Both were hurt and unsure about what to do to help their children. Both shed tears, and both sought answers to the character issues their kids displayed.
These women modeled true Christ-like humility to me—no pride, no excuses, no defensiveness—just love for their children and a desire to help them. I realized that this what God feels for me—everyday—when I fail him in little ways and when I exhibit the darker character flaws that always lurk beneath the surface. His heart breaks for me, and He wants to help me. He loves me despite the disappointment.
How often in our homeschool circles do we fail to follow Christ’s model? How often do we let pride, defensiveness, and embarrassment for our kids’ shortcomings cause us to overreact or under-react? How often do we judge one another’s parenting “failures” instead of rallying to support our sisters and brothers in Christ?
Perhaps we simply need to shift our perspective to one of gratitude. When our kids disappoint us, we have a rare opportunity to see directly into their souls, the parts of them that wage war over who controls their life—Jesus or self. It is an opportunity to come alongside Christ in the sanctification process, to know how to pray specifically for our children, to discipline our children in love, and to model Christ’s unconditional love in their lives.
Society tells us we fail when our kids fail, that we should be ashamed or embarrassed, but as believers we should know better. “For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Romans 3:23, NIV’84). That’s you and me. That’s your kid and my kid. Anyone who thinks otherwise has forgotten two critical truths about every single human being who walks this earth: we are all sinners, and we are all created in the image of the God of the universe and loved deeply by Him. Nothing we do or say can change either of those truths. Because we are sinners, we all stumble, and we are all unworthy. “As it is written: ‘There is no one righteous, not even one’” (Romans 3:10, NIV’84). Because we are created in God’s image and are loved by Him, we are valued despite our shortcomings. “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8, NIV’84). How do we reconcile these things? The only way we can: the grace of Jesus Christ.
This week, when your kids disappoint you or you witness someone else’s child fall, resist the natural responses: judgment, shame, pride, embarrassment, anger. Instead, respond with gratitude, not only for the opportunity to help a child along the road to sanctification but also for the opportunity to exhibit the grace, humility, and unconditional love Christ modeled for you.
mbarnes @ November 23, 2011 | Homeschool Encouragement | Comments (2)
Sitting at My Savior’s Feet…A Short Devotional for Homeschool Moms
In this new weekly feature, Melissa Barnes, writer and homeschool mom, will share reflections on how God speaks to her in the midst of a busy homeschool family. Her life consists of the “ordinary” cycle of teaching, managing a home, and parenting, yet she desires to intentionally seek God’s voice in her day-to-day life. It is our hope that by sharing her reflections, she will inspire you to listen for God in your own “ordinary” days.
Too Busy Not to Reflect
My three-year-old daughter discovered her shadow tonight. Our church hosted a Harvest Hoedown, and as she danced to the music outside, the light reflected her shadow against the side of the building. It mesmerized her. Her dad stood observing her then joined in, making his shadow do all sorts of silly movements. I watched them from afar, content to stand still and observe this mini-milestone. Later I thought about how the simplest things in life are often the most meaningful. I know in my core that God reveals Himself in these simple, everyday moments, yet I rarely pause to notice the extraordinary in the ordinary.
I don’t know about you, but there are not enough hours in my days. I could work for twenty-four hours straight and never “finish.” Laundry to wash…Dishes to scrub…Papers to grade…Rooms to clean…Lessons to plan…Places to drive. The tasks multiply like the fruit flies that invaded my kitchen last spring. Just when I think I have tackled the last of them, a new batch appears. Add to that the myriad of relationships that need sustaining in my life, and I just want to sit down and cry. In fact, sometimes I do!
Who has time to stop and make shadow figures on the wall or notice a flock of birds heading south for winter? Who can pause long enough to watch a spider craft her egg sac or a child build his first block tower? How often do we take the opportunity to reflect on each day that passes, looking for the extraordinary in the ordinary…better yet, looking for the divine in the mundane?
The real question is, “Who can afford not to?”
Several years ago I read a book by Bill Hybels called Too Busy Not to Pray. It struck a chord with me at the time and still does, seven years and two kids later, as the demands of my life and my need for prayer have grown exponentially. Soon after reading that book, I read The Cross and the Switchblade. David Wilkerson described how he prayed for hours each day, staying up late into the night. It humbled me at the time as I threw my short prayers at God between loads of laundry. I am convinced of the need for constant prayer in my life, but lately, I have become convinced of the need for reflection, too. I need to pause long enough to reflect on my day and where God met me in it. How did He speak to me? What did He say? How did I respond?
In 1 Kings 19:11, the Lord told Elijah, “Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the LORD, for the LORD is about to pass by” (NIV). Elijah obeyed and “then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave. Then a voice said to him, “What are you doing here, Elijah?” (1Kings 19:11-13)
God is omnipresent, and He reveals himself to His people in a myriad of ways. We just don’t pause long enough to see and hear Him. We are unlikely to hear his voice boom at us over the loudspeakers at Wal-Mart or see His words for us scrawled across the billboards we fly past on the interstate. Instead, we will hear Him in the quiet and stillness. We will see him in the unexpected…in the shadows on the wall, in the loving touch of a friend, in the innocent words of our children, and yes, even in the fruit flies. We need only to pause long enough to look and to listen.
In recent months God has impressed upon me the lack of reflection in my day-to-day life. I rarely stop to think about where God has met me in my crazy days. I just keep moving from one task to the next, and though I may notice His work in my life, I am not deliberate about looking for the lessons and seeking to hear His still, small voice as it speaks to me in the mundane happenings of my everyday life.
I plan to embark on a journey to hear God in the everyday minutiae of my crazy, overloaded life. To slow down long enough to catch His messages to me. To reflect on who He is. To hide in His presence. I can’t afford not to. Will you join me?
Listen for God’s still, small voice in your life this week. What is He saying? Who or what is He using to speak to you? How can you be an instrument for Him to speak into others’ lives?
mbarnes @ November 16, 2011 | Homeschool Encouragement | Comments (1)